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27 Jun '17, 11:35 *
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The Emerald Nightmare 7/7H 0/7M
 
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Heroic Emerald Nightmare cleared

Behold, as the Emerald Dream has been heroically cleansed of the Nightmare! Despite Malfurion's consistent attempts at thwarting our progress by being the absolutely worst Druid we've ever seen, we still succeeded in freeing Cenarius from Xavius' corruption.



As this chapter ends, another opens, and we move on to Mythic. We can only hope that Mythic Malfurion is a more capable ally, but if not... the Titans help us all.

Goodbye Warlords, hello Legion

Just like the prophecy foretold, the darkness of the Great Burning Shadow is once more approaching the shores of Azeroth, bringing nothing but death and destruction in its wake. But fear not, friends - Hexx will not idly stand by as the demons from the Twisting Nether ravage everything that we hold dear! The Legion will not catch us unawares as they did a decade ago; this time, we are prepared! Our blades are sharp, our shields are polished and our spell tomes have received a thorough dusting. Whatever the mindless minions of Sargeras throw at us, we will be ready!

As a warning to any Legion insurgents who might be reading this, we present to you from our archives additional records of Legion commanders who met their early demise when faced with the might of Hexx.

Gorefiend
Easy it may be to mistake him for Gorefriend, though he did not have friendly intentions. Sadly for him, neither did we.



Shadow-Lord Iskar
You need a light to cast a shadow, and Iskar met that light head on. Suffice it to say that when you see the Hexx train coming, get off the tracks.



Socrethar the Eternal
Not very eternal now, is he?



Fel Lord Zakuun
... okay, I'm running out of puns for this one.

Killed some stuff, no biggie

We killed some guys and destroyed some things.

First off was Hellfire Assault, but the only thing they assaulted was our dignity as they pretended to be more than glorified trash. We set them straight.



Siegemaster Mar'tak ran off from the trash surrounding her in Hellfire Assault, so it's ironic that she came back in an Iron Reaver assembled from various hunks of fel trash. Trash is still trash, so we made sure to disassemble it again and send the parts back to recycling. Gotta think about that environmental footprint!



Kormok, though, doesn't give a damn about the environment, which is evident by the abundant puddles of ominously colored goo he likes to go skinny dipping in. With all of that radiation flowing around, I'd hate to see his kids, but we took care of that by giving him a swift kick to the balls and a bonk on the noggin, which should ensure he never has any.



On to Hellfire High Council, they're definitely high on something. Gurtogg needs to chill out with his roids, Jubei'thos is obviously shroomed up judging from all that spinning around, and with all the syphilis Dia is spreading around there's no wonder she's so cranky. Unfortunately we were all out of synthetic opioids and medical grade penicillin, so we saw no other option than to put this menage-a-trois out of their misery.



And finally, on to the delusional Kilrogg, who failed to win our hearts - though not for want of trying. Apparently, gouging out one of your eyes out does impair your depth perception, so we dodged his feeble swings and laid an end to the Warlord of the Bleeding Hollow.

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